Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Healing Through Relationships Part II

I want to dedicate this entry to the wonderful people who give up their Tuesday nights to come to the Mindshifters group, and roll up their proverbial sleeves to work on the difficult, scary, and painful issues that most people run and hide from.  It is an honor to be able to work with you all!

Last night our Mindshifters group watched the second half of the Michael Ryce lecture titled: Healing Through Relationships.  Dr. Ryce talks about how he used to call the lecture: Healing Your Relationships,  but changed the title when he realized that relationships are not sick or broken.  He describes how the process of conflict in relationship is actually a vital process which brings our awareness to negative energy and emotions which we have hidden from ourselves, until such time as our partner in a relationship triggers that negative energy.  He focuses on how this is a blessing because we are not able to dismantle or heal that negative energy unless we become aware of it.

Dr. Ryce details the two things that are necessary for healing.  1) A negative, false reality must come into conscious awareness.  2) Conscious, active Love must be brought to awareness at the same time.  The presence of Love is the mechanism which transmutes all other energy, thereby healing the negative energy, negative emotion, and pain connected with the negative, false reality.  This is critical because it is the negative energy which we store in our bodies and energy systems which end up disintegrating our energy system and creating the physical pain, and illness which eventually leads to aging and death.

In light of this Dr. Ryce makes the statement that "A lack of communication is the  major cause of death".  He explains that every time we refuse to acknowledge and dismantle a negative thought, emotion, or "reality", we refuse to communicate about it and work it out.  When we do this we store the negative energy in our system and it stays hidden there until it begins to disintegrate our energy systems and eventually our physical bodies.

Another point in the lecture talks about "The Commitment", which is the tool they have created for navigating through relationships, in both good times and bad.  The commitment is a tool which helps people interact from the space of Love in a relationship.  Before beginning to use the tool of The Commitment, it is important to decide to have a new purpose for being in a relationship.  For most people raised in this culture, the purpose for being in a relationship is usually two-fold, 1) Deciding who is in charge, 2) Determining how much stuff we can get.  

The suggested new purpose for being in a relationship is:
 "We want to heal!"

Summary:
1) We are creating our realities!
2) Any emotion we feel is  something that comes from inside of us, not from outside events or the actions of other people!
3) The fact that we did not feel this emotion until the other person "did what they did",  means that this negative energy was hidden from us!
4) The fact that the energy was hidden from us means that it was hurting us without our knowledge and would eventually lead to further breakdown in our energy systems and physical bodies.
5) The fact that we are now upset means that we can see the negative energy/ false reality, and do something to correct it and heal from it.
6) The fact that someone "did what they did" that resulted in us getting upset, is a real blessing,  and the only way for us to heal those hidden and repressed parts of our energy system. 
7) The more we work to find and eliminate the negative energy, negative emotions, and painful realities we have hidden from ourselves, the more easily we can see that;

We come from Love, we are made of Love, we are Love.  Everything else is false.

2 comments:

FIREWALKER said...

OMG Tim! I love your blog on The suggested new purpose for being in a relationship is:
"We want to heal!"
Can't wait for more.
Can you help me bring up my vibration of Worthiness..I can't find too many tools on-line
I understand "as you believe, it's done unto you."
I get this and would like to advance in my worthiness..
it seems so silly...but, I think it's the key to the results of everything we are getting in LIFE..;)
cheers!
Kelly

Timothy J. Hayes, Psy.D. said...

Thanks Kelly. I'm glad you like the blog. I would be happy to talk with you or email you and answer to your question. Contact me at thayes@ch4cs.com